I wrote this long, extra tedious post and it vanished into cyberspace. Gone. Poof! Like Hillary’s emails, just… not there. Not that it was a literary masterpiece buy it was heartfelt, honestly written, soul searching… okay maybe not soul searching, but it WAS long. I don’t have the oomph or battery to recreate it, so […]Read more "So pissed"
I’m hanging in there. I can’t believe I made it this far. It’s a dream… a nightmare sometimes, I won’t say it’s easy or I don’t crave it, but I am staying strong. I do have the worst sinus thing going on. Referred to an ENT, my Dr said, “I got nothing for you.” […]Read more "62 days!"
I quit heroin. I really did it… October 5th was the last night I smoked any. That puts me at…. 59 days clean! Omg! I never thought I could do it this long. It’s been hard. I won’t lie… it was better when I had suboxone but I used my last dose (tapered down for […]Read more "So many days clean I can’t recall!"
It’s been 6 days now since I last smoked heroin. It feels like 600. I had a good weekend because I was busy and went on a day trip swimming and hiking. Now it’s Monday and I’m bored, restless and craving. I think I’ll go ride my bike and actually cook a meal, and play […]Read more "Made it through the weekend!"
I’ve not posted in such a long time. After thinking I could do it alone and didn’t need to journal, I can see that something isn’t working. The old saying, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I have quit twice. The first time was in April of […]Read more "3rd time is the charm?"
So yesterday I had the last of my stash smoked up by morning. There’s something really sad about sitting down with morning coffee and a blob of dope on tin foil to start the day. I decided, I’m not going to call my friend to get more today. I’ll make do with the percocets I […]Read more "Why am I such a hot mess?"
So I’ve been reading a lot about how to become sober and overcoming opiate addiction. Apparently I’m in the phase they call precovery. I want to become sober, but I’m not. As a matter of fact, I just smoked some heroin a half an hour ago. I suppose I am lucky in that I have […]Read more "First post- “Precovery”"